You it’s funny we are so good at giving advice but living the advice we give is all together a different story. We tell ourselves that we are doing the right thing. That being comfortable and staying in our lane in our life is where we need to be. Is it really? Do we trade our fear for comfort?

I miss the feeling of goosebumps and a shiver up my spine that tells me I am making the right decisions even though it is scary. I find all to often that I make decisions based in fear of finances but that isn’t the fear I am talking about here. I am talking about the butterflies, I am talking about the stutter, I am talking about the subjects that keep you up at night as you explore the unknown. I am talking about living.

I love my life, I love what I do, I love the people I choose to collaborate with and what they bring into my life. I work hard to decrease the shade I throw at myself and replace it with love. Some days it doesn’t matter how hard you work on your bullshit it is still the bullshit that comes up first.

This is my accountability for all the bullshit. I will write something every time the shade dissolves my sunshine!

You know you got problems when you hit the Weight Watchers app instead of WordPress. Hahaha

So the story is the same. I Am Fat. There is no way around it, not fluffy, not chubby but morbidly obese even by my standards now. Not sure how I got to this place, but here I am hurting and miserable about the fact that my jeans are cutting into my guts.

How do I go about changing my relationship to food. Being emotionally attached to it for no good reason. It is the cheapest of all my vices. The other things I like to do involve shopping. When I am struggling I love to do some shopping. And it is shopping for ridiculous shit that I don’t really need like new sheets or maybe new towels. Stuff for my three dogs, shit they don’t even need or want. You know the amount of dog shit that I have thrown out because they aren’t interested? Don’t even get me started? I digress.

Back to topic me and me fat. Ok so here is the plan and I know I have said it in the past but I am hoping by adding this element of writing my feelings down each day, a mood blog if you will it will help me focus and stay on task of being better to myself. That is really all it is. I suck at taking care of me.

I am glad I got that off my chest.

See you tomorrow.

Beauty does not lie at the surface. Kindness is sexy. Be sexy!

It bring a clear vision like a new canvas ready for paint. Cold and crisp it melts away past worries and gives new hope.

Day four of no gluten and I feel amazing!  

Just kidding. I feel like death and I maaaay have a bit of an attitude. Just a bit. 

So you know those people that stop eating gluten and within 24 hours claim that they feel “better than they ever have!”  

Well I have two words for those people. Bite me!

Since going gluten free I’ve been walking around like I’m 90 years old. It’s like every joint in my body is rebelling against me for not eating French bread. 

Driving today with the Sister, both of us getting hangry and yet there was no where to eat. Nothing safe, might slip up, might accidentally ingest delicious gluten. It was all I could do to drive the speed limit knowing we were headed to Smokey Davis and I was desperate for meat. 

Beef jerky saves the day….that is all.

Hey Ya’ll Hey the sister and I been talking about starting a blog of real life shiz and also a few story pages here and there.  This is going to be that blog.  I am really excited and hope everyone enjoys.

Cheers!

Fluff